we made out on top of his cat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
