HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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