Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
