Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize