i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
