i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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