His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
