he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
