i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
