David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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