Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
