We should be called the Road Head Warriors
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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