fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
