I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
