I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
