Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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