Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
