maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize