She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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