I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize