1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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