Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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