If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
