I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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