That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
