Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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