I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize