how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
