your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
