dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize