the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
