Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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