Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I wear drunk well.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
