More tranny stories later!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
