be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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