Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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