I must be too annoying 4 u.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
