What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
