Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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