You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
