I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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