We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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