remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Vodka?
Forever.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
