there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
