after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize