hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
