Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
50% drunk capacity currently
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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