The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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