Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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