i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
