You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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