question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
