Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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