Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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