it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
