id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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