I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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