I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
