What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
