I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and she was petting her beer can
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
