She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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