he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
