You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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