Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Randomize
