if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize