I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
