bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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