I just made out with a guy for $7.
i already hear my dad disowning me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
