I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Randomize