i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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