he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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