I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
